IDK :))

She stares at me. She knows I am serious. "Go ahead, tell me. If it's regarding your newly cut hair and dyed black then I can see it," she says.

I open my mouth, about to say the truth. She is right, I've cut off my hair before leaving them - her. And I'm sure she still has some strands of mine. And now that I'm no longer a convict being searched by the government, I return my black hair - the normal color of it.

The old me was gone a long way ago. The old me was long gone. That boy that has long blond hair is gone. It was me now, the boy that surely have short, cropped black hair before becoming a wanted.

"Just let me leave along with my life... alone," I told her.

She looks at me, worried and surprised.

What hurts the most is telling her to do something that I know she couldn't do, and something that I don't want to happen.

"Well then, I'll leave... we'll leave you alone," she stated as she stood up. "I think it is a bad idea searching for you after all."

She is already by the door, almost touching the door knob.

My instincts and walls fall out. I grab her by her elbow and let her lean by the door.

There are merely six inches between us.

Everything about her changes. The way she look at me now, curious.

"It's a pain to tell you. But you need to know," I say slowly and carefully. "Last year, I figured out that I... that I won't..."

"That you won't...?" she asked.

"Lena, you need to know. There's no hope for us," I say.

She nods. "I've known that. The moment you left. I only came here to bring you back because your siblings needed you."

I was shocked. Surprised. She made it clear.

I smiled. "Then, that would mean. I could die in peace without leaving you broken."

Then it was now her time to be surprised. "What did you said?"

"Don't play dumb. You heard true. It's not a delusion you're hearing," I say. "Lena... I won't be able to reach nineteen years old."

Tears start to ruin the moment. I cover my eyes with my hands and from the middle of my fingers, I find her tears falling as well.

"It can't be..." she muttered.

"It is the truth. That's why, you need to leave me alone. All of you need to leave me alone."

I start turning my back on her. But she run to me and embrace me from my back. "We won't leave you. I won't. There might be a possible solution for it. We'll find a way to prolonged your life. That's the promise of the procedure."

"In my case, it's different. The doctor made it clear to me, that I'm dying. I won't even experience a life after March 14," I told her. "I know it's so easy to say that there might be a way when there is really. But mine..." I sighed. "Nothing. I woke up in the middle of the night with intense migraines. I always fear that the today, the next days, the next weeks or months, I am less likely to die already."

She removes her hands from the embrace and turn me around. All of a sudden, she then presses her lips on mine.

Her kiss stayed always the same. Pure of love and memorable. I won't forget every thought of it. It is the same like the last time I kissed her a year ago and I will never forget it. Never until death. Never in a million years.

Later on, she pulled away slowly. Her eyes are filled with tears. She looks away to avoid my gaze.

"I can't let you die. I won't leave you if you are to die. I would be with you until your death, that's how I love you," she remarks.

I turn my back again to her.

"Just leave," I told her.

It is a pain. Those words to tell her. Always a pain to me. A dagger on me. A much painful death. A terminal illness to me, worst than what I really have.

I hear her turn back tears and collected herself again. And later, I hear a door close behind me.

I throw myself on bed and lay down on my stomach. I can't avoid the tears to avoid falling from my eyes. I can feel my head starting to ache again and a pain clutching my heart to shreds. It's too hard to breathe. I cover my mouth and cough out. I looked passed my hand and wipe it down on the bed sheet. I thought it was only sweat on my palms but when I look at it, I figured out that it's blood.

I looked at the other direction, coughing still, the pain still in my head and my chest. It's too much.

"I'm sorry, Lena," I muttered even if she can no longer hear me. 

"I love you." At least, I was able to say it to myself and I know that I'll always love her more than anything.

And I finally passed out.

Collaboration

You know what's always good with collaboration...

+ You have someone to help you think of ideas

+ You have a free-editor that could critic as well your work and share more ideas

+ You don't need to shoulder everything

+ You can share for the publication

Well, I am to make a collaboration with this best pal, Patricia Gabriel.

We're going to call it as in tears~ trilogy....

You better check on after some days from now for more updates... :))

A continuation of the last days in school,,, and SUMMER!!!

I finished Junior High School as the Top 2 with consistent High Honors.

Our class also won,, in the short film entry for the Celebrate Writing.

We won the Best Director, Best Editor, Best Cover Editor, and the First place or Over-all champion.

As a gift for myself,

I bought the Delirium trilogy: Delirium, Pandemonium and Requiem.

So for this summer, I have so many priorities:

1. Have my books copyrighted.
2. Finished Book 5 in writing.
3. Finished Book 3 and 4 in typing.
4. Search for a willing publisher.
5. Learn sewing for my cosplays.
6. Be part of the journalism group in school.
7. Search for the best College school for my course.
8. Apply entrance exams in College.
9. Study for College test.
10. Learn or improve my writing skills even better.

HAVE A HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE!!!!

Last days in school... :)

Well, actually classes ended last Friday...

And I can't get over with the sudden revelation of a 4th year student, my JS Prom partner about his feelings for me. He created a song for me. He gave me a rose and a letter.

Too much, about that...

I'd like to share to you about what happened regarding our shooting...

This is our official teaser:

All of you may have known that I play a boy role again as Lorenzo from William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice.

If you haven't known what's the story, I am in the mood of sharing it to you:

The Merchant of Venice talks about the rivalry between the Christian merchant Antonio and the Jew merchant Shylock. Antonio does lend money without an interest charge while because of hatred, Shylock lends money with interest. Until, Antonio's best friend, Bassanio, the young and rich noble scholar in Venice asked for some help with money to be a suitor to Portia, the rich, beautiful and wise young lady in Belmont. 

We were then introduced with the nature of Portia in Belmont along with her maid-in-waiting Nerissa, talking about Portia's suitors' fortune with the three caskets: gold, silver, and lead; which is one from those contains Portia's counterfeit that is needed to have Portia's hand in marriage.

Antonio without any money by his hand at that point of time, asked for Shylock's help. Shylock gladly gave him 3 000 ducats but in exchange as an enemy, within 3 months Antonio shall pay, if he fails to do so, he will have Antonio's pound of flesh.

On the same day, Launcelot Gobbo, the joker in Shylock's home, run away from his master. He then meets his father, Old Gobbo and does prank him a joke. Later, realizing that it was indeed his son. They went by Bassanio to work for him.

Before leaving Shylock's household, Jessica, the Jew's daughter gave a letter to Launcelot that will be given to Lorenzo. The letter holds instructions on how Lorenzo may take her from her father's home, about the gold and jewels she had, and also about the page boy's dress that she'll used during the eloping on that same night because Shylock was invited for a dinner before Bassanio's exit to Belmont.

On Belmont, the Prince of Morocco tested his fortune as a suitor to Portia. He then chooses from the three caskets the gold one, that contains a skull and a scroll saying that 'All that glitters are not gold', in the expected Portia's portrait. He then leaves immediately as he pledge for it before choosing.

And so, Lorenzo receives the letter from Launcelot during his planning along with Gratiano and the others about the eloping. 

Again, back to Belmont, the Prince of Aragon also tested his fortune with the casket. He chooses the silver casket, ending with a portrait of a blinking idiot with a schedule. After choosing, he leaves because of failure.

On the same night, Gratiano and Salarino helped Lorenzo eloped with Jessica. Jessica wore a page-boy's dress and become the torch bearer for Lorenzo. Gratiano and Salarino returned to Bassanio's dinner, while the two young couple leave Venice to Genoa.

Shylock learned about this and the next day, he was awakened by a great news that Antonio's ship was wrecked all the way coming from Tripolis.

Bassanio in Belmont along with Gratiano and Launcelot and his other attendants were inviteed over as a suitor. And luckily, Bassanio wins Portia after choosing the lead casket that contains Portia's portrait. The choosing was then followed by a banquet wherein Bassanio was accepted as Portia's fiance, and Gratiano and Nerissa finally revealing to the two that they were also both in love. Their celebration was interrupted with the coming of Lorenzo, Jessica and Salerio.

Salerio shares the message that Antonio had asked him to be given to Bassanio. A letter that contains that he needs him before he dies because his ships were wrecked and the bond to the Jew has expired. After learning about this, Portia instructed him to marry her already so that Bassanio will have authority over her money. After the marriage, Bassanio, Gratiano, Launcelot and Salerio went to Venice.

In Belmont, Portia instructed Lorenzo and Jessica that they will both took over the roles of Bassanio and Portia over the house while they are gone. Portia and Nerissa then also flee to Venice.

In the court, Shylock is already winning and can't wait to have the pavement. But he was obstructed by the young judge (Portia in disguise of a man), and the judge's clerk (Nerissa in disguise of a man). Even if Portia and Nerissa where in disguise, their husbands can't recognize them. They leave the court with Shylock empty handed after he agrees with the offer that he'll be a Christian, half his money will be for the state, and the other half was to be given to his daughter Jessica, that lately eloped with his son-in-law Lorenzo when he dies.

Because of thanks, Bassanio and Antonio was willing to give the six thousand ducats to the judge and the clerk that Shylock wasn't able to have. But the judge (Portia) doesn't want any but Bassanio insisted. In return, the judge asked for Antonio's gloves, and Bassanio's ring. At first Bassanio objects, because that ring was given to him by Portia and let him swore not to be apart from it, even in death. But he later also gives it.

We were then brought again to Belmont, wherein we find out that Lorenzo and Jessica by the garden, exchanging their quotes of love until they were interrupted by Stephano to tell them that Portia will arrive later before daybreak. And he was followed by Launcelot, telling them that Bassanio and the others will arrive before daybreak as well. Lorenzo and Jessica asked for a ceremonious welcome, and later on, Portia arrives with Nerissa. Later, followed by Bassanio, Gratiano and Antonio.

Then, Gratiano and Nerissa were seen fighting after Nerissa learned that the ring that she had given Gratiano is gone. Portia also learned about the same thing from Bassanio. But Antonio said that Bassanio will never do that, because he knows how loyal Bassanio is to Portia. Reconciling the truth that Portia was the judge and Nerissa was the clerk, the characters exit by couple. Antonio exits alone.

Well if you also don't know about my character as Lorenzo:

He is a young Christian, a spend-trift. And Shylock describes him as: spoiled, uneducated, bastard Christian. He is in love with Jessica, Shylock's daughter.

The viewing was a success. The bloopers were indeed funny. Check it out!! :)

And also a collage of all things that we find out funny to watch: